1. Gained at least 10lbs

2. Managed to not throw up from drinking for a whole year, mainly because I stopped drinking

3. Became infatuated with couponing

4. Fell in lust with goat cheese

5. Got a leopard print foot tattoo because I am a leopard print whore

….and more

go shawty- its my birfday, gonna party like…. oh wait, not partying, going to spend 3 hours in chemistry lecture… w00t

In the past few days I’ve experienced a few public situations that may or may not have required intervention, but came off being just very awkward. Now I’m wondering if being courteous in some situations can actually be rude/embarrassing.

Situation #1)

We went bowling for my dad’s birthday at 3pm on a Saturday, therefore we were stuck between two lanes of ‘tweens. The ones we were sharing the lane machine with were not actually that bad, they were just two chubby girls, but the ones behind us were a group of screaming guys and girls who literally would not sit down. They were on tween speed or something, crack hormones, I don’t know, but I don’t remember ever being THAT juiced up. Now, my parents take bowling VERY seriously. They bring their own monogrammed balls, have their own bowling shoes, relics of life before us (yeah, right, like that ever happened). My mom actually curled her hair before this I think just so that it did some Farrah Fawcet bounce when she bowled. They do the ankle twitch and the one leg flying in the air and everything. It was really embarrassing when my sister and I were but horribly self-conscious young’ns. Now it’s terribly entertaining.

Read the rest here:

http://aimlesslastwords.com/2012/01/09/when-is-being-polite-being-rude/

Guys, I’m pretty stressed out. Not because I don’t have a job, not because I’m back in school, not because I live at home with my parents and therefore can never have sex, but because there is so much great television on tonight that:
a) I can’t watch it all at once.
b) I can’t even decide what is most important and prioritize them.
c) There is no way my tivo is going to catch all of this because it can only record one channel at a time.
d) I’m not going to be able to watch all of it tonight because I have class tomorrow morning and therefore have to sleep at some point.

For those of you thinking that football was the most important thing on TV today, you’d be dead wrong- because football isn’t even important at all, but thanks to everyone who stayed home and made my grocery shopping all the more enjoyable. Back to the point, this is what’s on tonight, all new episodes mind you: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Watch What Happens Live, Shameless, Mob Wives, and Kourtney and Kim take New York.

Let’s start with Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E!)

Tonight is “The beginning of the end” of Kim Kardashian and ‘The Hump.’ Thank god, because Kris Humphries is honestly the worst partner ever (second to an ex of mine who shall not be named) and makes Scott Disick look like a gem, which is not even close to being true. You know that when Scott Disick has to reprimand someone about bad behavior, you’re in bad territory.

http://aimlesslastwords.com/2012/01/08/the-prime-time-sunday-night-dilemma/

i’m so excited that it’s may 20th and after today i’ll never have to look at these signs ever again, EITHER WAY.

Are u sure I can’t have any?

i’m trying to go to sleep and i just fed the guinea pigs. all i can hear is the little tinkling noise that clown baby makes as she pushes all the food out of the ceramic dish with her face. FOR WHAT PURPOSE I HAVE NO IDEA. it is both endearing and annoying at the same time. endearing because it’s funny. annoying because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Things are obviously tense around the office.

I’m at my grown up job no lie

I have photos of an anal sex toy on my work desktop computer. That someone photographed and sent to us. Because we didn’t have permission to use another photo, so he took his own photo and sent it to us. Of the sex toy. This is work related. I have to keep it. On my desktop. To save. To put in a book.

I’ve been looking at urology related images for the past three images and let me just tell you, I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE AND I NEED A DRINK.

tgif.

my sister is evil

i think my sister is funnier from other continents. or just in words longer than one sentence or text message. WRITE ON little one.

iiseelondoniiseefrance:

like you know when people get their arm chopped off they still think they can feel it. well yeah, i’ve got that.

let me tell you, it only took me .5 seconds to brush this new hair of mine and a quarter of the amount of shampoo/conditioner. so weird. when i was washing it however, i kept noticing…

longstoryshort- i follow this guy. he posted a link to his book. i went a wandering bc i didnt even know he had a book and gee i work in books so these things intrigue me, come to author video or something or other (i dont know im not in pr!) and then came across this video. because he’s cute and i was wandering. married! off limits! but this one made me laugh a lot. the cat is so (huge and) acting totally appropriately at the right moments.