Guys, I’m pretty stressed out. Not because I don’t have a job, not because I’m back in school, not because I live at home with my parents and therefore can never have sex, but because there is so much great television on tonight that:
a) I can’t watch it all at once.
b) I can’t even decide what is most important and prioritize them.
c) There is no way my tivo is going to catch all of this because it can only record one channel at a time.
d) I’m not going to be able to watch all of it tonight because I have class tomorrow morning and therefore have to sleep at some point.

For those of you thinking that football was the most important thing on TV today, you’d be dead wrong- because football isn’t even important at all, but thanks to everyone who stayed home and made my grocery shopping all the more enjoyable. Back to the point, this is what’s on tonight, all new episodes mind you: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Watch What Happens Live, Shameless, Mob Wives, and Kourtney and Kim take New York.

Let’s start with Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E!)

Tonight is “The beginning of the end” of Kim Kardashian and ‘The Hump.’ Thank god, because Kris Humphries is honestly the worst partner ever (second to an ex of mine who shall not be named) and makes Scott Disick look like a gem, which is not even close to being true. You know that when Scott Disick has to reprimand someone about bad behavior, you’re in bad territory.

http://aimlesslastwords.com/2012/01/08/the-prime-time-sunday-night-dilemma/

Also, right now my dad is currently visiting his friend/my/our ex lawyer on Riker’s Island. He is obviously no longer a lawyer. But he once wrote for SNL and is currently having a grand old time reading (Riker’s Island must have a great library) so maybe he’ll come out having written some funny stuff. And he doesn’t even have to wear prison garb. Imagine that! White collar crime privileges. I feel like I may or may not have written a thesis on this at one point in my life (I did). Had my dad not left so early I might have gone with him. Not because I like this man, just because I think it’d be fun to go to Riker’s. I’ll put it on my bucket list. 

Most people go visit family on Thanksgiving. My family just goes to visit friends in jail. TYPICAL.

(I told him to empty his pockets of any and all drugs before he got there. That’s how NeNe Leakes’ son got arrested, you know. “Now I know you didn’t know you had them in there because I don’t think you’re that STUpid.”)