Prime Time TV Sunday Night Dilemma
Guys, I’m pretty stressed out. Not because I don’t have a job, not because I’m back in school, not because I live at home with my parents and therefore can never have sex, but because there is so much great television on tonight that:
a) I can’t watch it all at once.
b) I can’t even decide what is most important and prioritize them.
c) There is no way my tivo is going to catch all of this because it can only record one channel at a time.
d) I’m not going to be able to watch all of it tonight because I have class tomorrow morning and therefore have to sleep at some point.
For those of you thinking that football was the most important thing on TV today, you’d be dead wrong- because football isn’t even important at all, but thanks to everyone who stayed home and made my grocery shopping all the more enjoyable. Back to the point, this is what’s on tonight, all new episodes mind you: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Watch What Happens Live, Shameless, Mob Wives, and Kourtney and Kim take New York.
Let’s start with Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E!)
Tonight is “The beginning of the end” of Kim Kardashian and ‘The Hump.’ Thank god, because Kris Humphries is honestly the worst partner ever (second to an ex of mine who shall not be named) and makes Scott Disick look like a gem, which is not even close to being true. You know that when Scott Disick has to reprimand someone about bad behavior, you’re in bad territory.
http://aimlesslastwords.com/2012/01/08/the-prime-time-sunday-night-dilemma/
I AM THE GREAT LOVE OF OPRAH’s LIFE!!
i just happened upon the opening group number of America’s Best Dance Crew…. “the iconic boyz” …. they’re practically fetuses! They have to be like 10, max. IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?
Watching Sam and Ron fight on Jersey Shore is like watching my past relationship. SO IRRATIONAL and DYSFUNCTIONAL. Why can’t you guys just get along?
i can’t believe i’m a jersey shore convert, but i thank Snooki. i can’t even handle the beach scene. i just looked at this picture and burst out laughing: its 7:31am, and that fucking says something.
I don’t see how you’re strengthening our relationship by being a whore.
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A&E, commercial for an upcoming episode of Intervention
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At this point in the episode, things start to get really convoluted and strange. Rachel’s boyfriend, Joie, is arrested and within a day, she starts sleeping with a new guy named Ryan. Rachel and Ryan first met at Starbucks and according to her, Ryan “has a pad. He deals pot. He has a lot of things going for him.” Their romance is short-lived though because two days later, Ryan is also arrested on possession and sent to jail. At first, Rachel is super sad about two of her boyfriends being in jail but then miraculously, Joie is released and the two reunite. Rachel immediately comes clean about sleeping with Ryan and Joie calls her a whore and tells her the relationship is over. Five minutes later, he admits that he ratted Ryan out to the cops in order to get released early from jail (haha?) and that he still loves Rachel. Jesus Christ. Drug addicts’ lives move at the speed of light. I seriously can’t keep up with their drama. So then they walk off together in the cruel harsh sunlight and go to sleep in front of a church. The next morning, Joie proposes to Rachel (presumably with a ring-pop) and she accepts. EEEEEK.
At the pre-intervention, interventionist, (is that what they’re called?) Candy, pinpoints the blame on Rachel’s parents divorce and says that when a child goes through divorce from ages 2-6, they’re at a higher risk for being insane. Ugh. This show always blames divorce. My parents split up when I was 8 and you don’t see me shooting cocaine into my neck in a McDonald’s bathroom. I really feel like they give divorce too much power on this show.
Things I am entirely too excited about:
1) Black Swan (Friday)
2) Storage Wars on A&E
3) Celebrity Rehab on vh1- I already watched the first episode online. It was amazing. AH may zing.
4) Every upcoming episode of Real Housewives of every location except NY because they’re too f*cking whiny.
5) Payday= friday
6) Rachel Zoe pregnancy pictures. Just because I want to see what her face looks like as a normal human being.
Interestingly enough, there are no posts tagged with “not wanting to die” but pages of posts tagged with “wanting to die.” I looked them up, respectively.
I am about not wanting to die. I am about the opposite of dying.
I would even go so far as to say I’m willing to live without a TV if it means being less bored and sick of life. I’d move out tomorrow if I could.
You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re watching The Apprentice.
This ain’t for no boy scout troop or basketball team; I’m out here hustling for my damn self!
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How to make it in America
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Thanks to a text from Sean about Weeds
Nancy: I'm sorry
Shane: For what?
Nancy: You got shot!
Shane: It was bound to happen sooner or later.
